Skip to main content

A Causal Soccer Conversation Over SMS

It is a great summer. The USA in the semifinals of Copa America Centenario and the Euro Championships. Everyone that knows me knows I love soccer. So my mother-in-law sent me a couple of somewhat cryptic messages. I had no idea she was watching the games while she was out to lunch yesterday.

Jorgia VanDeventer: Why does the time keep going up? 3:29 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: On the time 3:31 PM
Me: Because backward time travel is, as of yet, not possible. The closest we have come is our eyesight. Everything we see happened in the past. 3:33 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: That makes perfect sense. 3:34 PM

It was at that point that I decided to inform my wife about our transaction.


Me: Because the center official keep the time. 45 min. halves. The center official will add on time for long injury breaks, time wasting etc. Coming up soon, the fourth official on the sideline will hold up a sign indicating "stoppage time" to be played. 3:41 PM
Me: Oh, I have three monitors. (2) 23" for work, (1) 7" for other things 3:42 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: Where's the score? 3:43 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: Oh, it must be the thing that looks like eye glasses 3:44 PM
Me: Next to the team abbreviations. Right now England and Slovakia are tied 0:0 and Wales lead Russia 2:0 3:44 PM
Me: If you want to sound like a pretentious football snob, don't say zero, say nil. 3:45 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: Are you watching both games while at work? 3:46 PM
Me: Kinda, ESPN lets you do picture in picture 3:48 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: And WORK? 3:48 PM
 Me: I usually keep my soccer monitor turned off and just listen for the more exciting bits. Then I can turn on that monitor and catch the replays. Otherwise, I would get nothing done. 3:50 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: Well at least it's not porn. 3:52 PM
Me: Some of those goals are sexy though. 3:53 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: What does porn have to do with sexy? 4:10 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: OMG, someone please score! 4:16 PM
Me: Typical American... 4:20 PM
Me: You're watching the wrong game if you want goals 4:25 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: It's what is on at the bar. 4:26PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: What's the other score? 4:27 PM
Me: I can't see the bar from here, but I am guessing it is. Where are you? 4:27 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: Belgium beer cafe 4:28 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: I'm rooting for the red guys 4:29 PM
Me: That would be England. 4:31
PM Jorgia VanDeventer: Yep, my friends 4:31 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: But why are the goalies completely different colors? 4:32 PM
Me: So the officials can easily tell who is allowed to use their hands. 4:34
PM Jorgia VanDeventer: Good idea 4:34 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: OMG is there ever an end? 4:40 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: Let me know who wins, I had to go back to work. :( 4:48 PM
Me: 0:0, England played too slow. 4:53 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: So that's it. No score? 4:54 PM
Me: There is always a score, just like there is always weather. 4:55 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: :( 4:57 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: Why do people bother watching? 4:58 PM
Me: There is much more to the game than goals 8:00 PM
Jorgia VanDeventer: Yes dear 8:01 PM
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Warning! Danger! A Guide to Car Dash Symbols

Automobiles are becoming increasingly sophisticated each year.  Our American society can be a very litigious one.  Car manufacturers realize this and in an attempt to keep us safe, and themselves out of the court room, they crowd car instrument panels with warning lights to alert drivers of potential hazards.  Below are just a few symbols and what they mean. This is a new feature on a select few cars.  When this symbol is illuminated, it is alerting you to the fact that the vehicles Rear Thrusters are engaged. While it should be common sense, a car is no place to play.  This is a simple reminder that beachballs should not be tossed about the passenger cabin. Although rare, this is a simple reminder that you are diving one of two conjoined cars.  This task is made more difficult when each vehicle has it's own independent power and/or drivetrain. Many cars now have sensors mounted in the rear of the vehicle.  They are helpfu...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Weekend in the VA Mountains

This past weekend we took a trip to the mountains of Virginia. It is an area we have visited before with the Boy Scout troop, but this time we went without the scouts. I have been riding consistently again for nearly a year after I bought a new to me cyclocross bike. You can read more about that here . After more than 2,800 miles on that bike since last June, it needed some more work. The headset was pretty much shot and would not be repaired in time for our planned trip to Virginia. So Gina suggested that I get a new bike. I ended up getting a Giant Revolt Advanced 2 from Giant Wake Forest . We arrived at our rental house very early Saturday morning. 1:30am in fact. We found a place to stay that was literally steps away from The Virginia Creeper Trail . Saturday was to be a day we went hiking at Grayson Highlands State Park . We met Gina's co-workers at the park just after 10:00 am and started our hike. We have camped at this park before with the Boy Scouts but have never ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Education is important, proofreading maybe more.

I make no claims to be grammatically correct at all times. I am subject to typos and errors. However, if you are going to send a mass email about EDUCATION, maybe you should  have a couple of people look over a draft before hitting the send button. Below is an email I received today. I will highlight the most obvious errors. Eric – For the last few years, we’ve seen a systematic assault on public education in North Carolina. First, they underfunded and our classrooms and refused to give our best and brightest teachers the pay they deserve. Then they siphoned money away from traditional public schools to unaccountable charter schools, as well as private, religious institutions. Now we’re seeing the next step in their plan: the takeover of public schools by for-profit charter schools. Click here to add your name and urge lawmakers to reject HB 1080, which would allow unaccountable, for-profit charter school operators to take control of traditional public schools. There’s no...
Post a Comment
Read more